How Our Very Unexpected Family Started
by Ito ED
Summary: Just a small story of how JD and Perry get together and start their family. SLASH! AU, M-Preg, JD has a new history, and I made Mickhead an OB/GYN. Some minor angst from the past and Harrison makes a cameo. Rated T to be safe. Was a one-shot, not anymore.
1. How Jack Was Born

**A/N:** I know this isn't the chapter that any of my readers are expecting, but I wasn't really watching what channel I put it on and this came from the show that was on. If you're not familiar with this show and/or this channel it will be explained at the end, but I don't want to give anything away. Happy reading.

Oh! This is AU, M-Preg, JD has a new history, and I made Mickhead an OB/GYN. I took great liberties with the pregnancy part. It is Male Pregnancy though, so I think I can take those liberties. I also took liberties with Perry's age and the swimmers that were mentioned. There is NO Jordan. And in case somebody clicked this by accident, this story is SLASH! You have been warned. Turn back now if this isn't your cup of coffee.

Enjoy all! Don't own. All mistakes are mine. 8 ½, 1, 3, 5, 7, 8, 8 ½, this is the progression of the story in months. Every time you see \o/\o/\o/, it skips months. Line breaks mean that you are skipping time within the month. The last part skips around four years. The story got a little messed up when it uploaded, if anyone finds anything just let me know and I'll fix it.

* * *

"_I laughed at Carla when she told me she couldn't do anything. Then I yelled. I should apologize, RIGHT!" I doubled over and screamed as the pain came again. "PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE! Make the pain stop. MAKEITSTOP, MAKEITSTOP, MAKEITSTOP!"_

* * *

"_Look at me! Look at me and listen! You can't have anything, it's too far gone." He grabbed my face and I managed to find his eyes. "But I'm going to be here every step of the way. Right here with you! Are you ready?"_

"_No."_

"_Good. I'm not alone then." I managed to laugh before the pain came back._

\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/

"I need to get over it. Right?"

"I won't say that. Yes I know, big shock." I watched as he waved his hands around. It should have shocked me, but we were now on a first name basis so I didn't really see that happening any time soon. "He's an ass JD. Simple as that."

"But I knew he was an ass before he came along. It's not like it was a big secret. Once Harrison gets board he moves along. Thought he was gonna stay though. Thought somebody would want too." I sighed leaning my head on his shoulder. I was really too far gone in hurt to realize the consequences of my actions.

"Maybe you should look at what's in front of you."

"What if I don't want what's in front of me?"

"I wasn't talking about the walking toy."

"What if what's in front of me doesn't want me?"

"How do you know?"

I pulled back and looked at him. "Do you want me Perry?"

I watched as he set his glass on the table and sat back. I thought I had asked the wrong question when his lips connected with mine. It was soft and sweet, and by the time it wasn't my head was spinning.

* * *

Waking up with him next to me wasn't in the plan. I was supposed to make him feel better about being dumped by that irresponsible child Kelso had made. And I so-_ho_ wasn't going to think about that man in my bed. My train of thought derailed as JD burrowed deeper into my chest. I fucked it up, but I wanted him. I had wanted him before this, I wanted him right now, and I knew that I'd still want him tomorrow. And now I had made myself the rebound. How was I going to fix this?

"Fuck!"

He shot up at my expletive. "What? What's wrong? Oh SHIT!" I watched him scramble from the bed after he glanced at the clock. It took me a moment to realize that we both should have been at work two hours ago.

Of course neither of us took into account what we could do in the shower. Maybe I hadn't fucked up so bad?

\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/

I watched as they each settled into their usual what-the-hell-is-going-on poses. For the amount of time that this has been happening you'd think someone would have caught on. Obviously someone had finally noticed something, so here they were to interrogate me.

"So Bambi." Carla started. "Exactly how long has this been going on for? And don't lie to me! I mean, us!" She quickly glanced at Turk and Elliot.

I sighed when I realized that there was no way out of this. "Almost a month?"

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Was this going on before Harrison left?"

"How did it start?"

"No Elliot, it didn't start before Harrison left. It started because he left Carla. And I'm very sorry I didn't tell you Turk. It started and now it's just something that is. I don't really think about it." Why'd she have to bring _him_ up?

* * *

"…_I don't really think about it."_ Well if Brandy didn't have to think about it, then neither did I.

* * *

I walked quickly away from the room, and into a wall of dizziness. If Carla was any indication, I hit the floor. And if the pain radiating from my back was any indication, _really_ _fucking_ _hard_.

"Bambi? Bambi are you okay?"

'_I would be if you would stop shouting! And if my head would stop spinning!'_

"Bambi please answer me!"

'_Guess I didn't say that out loud.'_

"What's wrong? What happened?"

'_Oh GOD! I'm not talking to you! Tell him to go away Carla.'_

"I don't know! He was coming towards the nurses station, and then he was on the ground. He won't answer me."

My eyes may have been closed, but I knew he was the one next to me now. I was proven right when his hands cupped my face.

"You don't have to open your eyes, but you do need to tell me what's wrong."I didn't really want to talk to him right now, but I wanted off the floor. "Spinning."

"Your head?"

"Mmhm." I was in his arms before I knew what was going on. "Tired."

* * *

I blinked. "You didn't hit your head. Carla remembered that much. From what we've found your blood sugar dropped. How are you feeling?"

"Now? Good. What was that about Perry?" I wanted to forget it, but couldn't.

"What was what about?"

"That guy, that patient, he was flirting with you. And you weren't stopping him.""Why should I? You didn't stop that man from this morning. And he grabbed your ass!"

"You should have stopped him because this, this thing we have, is a relationship. And that man from this morning wasn't grabbing my _ass_, he was trying to get my prescription pad."

"Well, I heard what you said earlier!"

"What'd I say?"

"You said that you don't think about us, this, whatever the hell it is!"

"I said that because if you THINK ABOUT IT we've been in a relationship for the past TWO YEARS! Just without the sex!" I hopped off the bed, then held on as my knees buckled. "And if you felt that way, why didn't you just talk to me?"

"Because I thought you didn't want me."

"So, what, you thought letting _Mr. Goodbody_ flirt with you was the answer? If you can't talk to me about _anything_, we won't make it."

"I'm sorry. I just think..."

"I'm not Jordan! And believe me, I know how hard it can be not to pull out that yard stick and compare. So maybe next time something like this happens, you could try and remember that I'm _me_."

"There's going to be a next time?"

"It's us."

"I'll try JD. It's as good as I can do right now."

"Then that's good enough." I watched as he visibly relaxed with my words. "You know you can kiss me now, right?"

\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/

Everything was back on track. I was eating normally again, I was happy with Perry, Perry was happy with me, and the guys were happy for us. So maybe they were a little freaked out sometimes, but _we_ were happy so I didn't care. Things were _great!_ So of course life decided to say _"Fuck you!"_. And you may ask yourself what exactly did life decide to do?

"Hey JD. How are you doing? This is Adam."

"I'm great! It's nice to meet you Adam. If you could just skooch a little to one side, I need to get in or I'll be late. It was nice to see you again Harrison. We should all get together if you're in town for a while."

* * *

I wished (as I was hanging over the toilet) that I knew what had caused this.

"You okay?" I spit one last time before flushing and moving to the sinks.

"Yeah. I just, I think it was seeing him again. It was kind of a shock. Seeing him? Wasn't expecting it." Rinse, spit, turn, get coffee cup shoved in face. "What's this?"

"Peppermint tea. It helps the stomach settle." I took a sip and watched him watch me. It took him a minute, but he realized what he was doing. With a flick of his nose and an _"I'm going."_, Perry headed to the door.

"Perry?" I waited for him to turn before continuing. "We're being completely honest with each other, right?"

"Yes."

"Then I want… No! I _need_ you to know that I'm head over heals for you. I had to tell you, because I saw that look."

"I remembered that it's you."

"I'm glad."

"And JD? Ditto." With a flash of lab coat he was gone. Three months and I got a ditto. I'm not going to admit to dancing around the bathroom. The excessive smiling yes, but not the dancing.

\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/

He stayed for two months, and I was scared every minute he was here. I watched my lover sleep through the night that first week, so scared that when I woke up he'd be gone. I held him so tightly the next few weeks that he had light bruises on his hips. It took me two more weeks to notice that I had matching ones on my arms. It took me watching him say goodbye to his former lover to realize that he wasn't going to leave me. But I was scared. Not that I'd admit it aloud, but it was there.

"I can't believe that we have a day off. A full twenty-four hours. No work, no calls, no nothing. What are we gonna do?"

"Well…" I ran my hands up his back. "I thought we'd stay here for a while." And back down to emphasize my point.

"That's a very good idea! When should we start?"

"Right now?"

"Even better!" He laughed, I rolled us.

* * *

"Turk left a message. Carla wants all of us to go out tonight. Do you want to go?"

"Sure." Where the hell did that come from? Damn his eyes. Nobody should have that power. And damn his smile. It makes the torture worth it.

Elliot had gotten the first round to the table by the time we arrived. She had also picked some guy to dance with. Well it was good to know that none of would be going home alone. Although with Elliot's track record, that might not be such a good thing. I snuggled up to Perry as Turk and Carla came back from their turn around the floor.

"Tired Bambi?" I nodded before a yawn cracked my jaw. "Didn't you get any sleep last night?"

I looked at Perry. "A bit."

"Baby! Why'd you ask, I didn't need to know!"

"Hey Gandhi? We didn't sleep in either." I watched as Turk grabbed a suddenly red Carla and made a getaway to the bar. "JD? Are you feeling alright?"

"Yep."

I felt him shift under me before his hands landed on my face. "Let's try this again, but with the truth. Are you feeling alright JD?"

"No." I sighed. "My stomach feels weird. Not sick, weird. My feet have swollen feet from all the overtime I've spent on them, and I have a twinge in my back that won't go away. Did I mention that I'm also tired? Stupid stomach. Couldn't even enjoy my Appletini." I sighed for a different reason when his lips met mine.

"Let's go home."

"What about the others?"

"They'll figure it out."

* * *

I pulled into a space in the nearly empty parking lot and let out my own sigh. I wondered if we were ready for this, if I was right. I also wondered what we'd do if I was wrong. I leaned over and brushed kiss across his cheek. "Babe, I'm going to run in real quick."

I watched his eyes slit open. "What are we out of?"

"Not out of anything. I'm getting something we don't have, but need."

"Okay." I figured JD would be fully awake by the time I got back. I grabbed the keys and made sure the doors were locked before making my way into the store. I wondered if it was wrong if I hoped I was right. We'd see.

* * *

"So. What'd we need that we don't have?" It's amazing, I didn't know how to put this into words so I handed him the bag. I watched his face as he pulled the box out, shock, disbelief, and a touch of fear made up the mixture.

"Perry… I… We… I…" He took a breath and started over again. "We've been safe."

"Yes."

"We use protection."

"Yes."

"Perry!"

"JD!"

"Do you… Do you really think I could be pregnant?"

"It's a possibility."

"What if it's just me overworking?"

"Then it's overwork."

"What if it's a baby?"

"Then we're having a baby."

"You make sound so fucking simple!"

"It is."

"I'll put it on the back of the toilet when we get home. Take it in the morning." I wanted to know now, but I knew he was right about the timing. I think we could wait another eight hours. I think.

* * *

We didn't have to be at work until eleven, but that didn't stop me from getting up at seven. I slid out form under the arm holding me down and made my way into the bathroom. How could I be pregnant? I mean sure, condoms weren't one-hundred percent effective, but we used them correctly and stored them properly. I shook my head and grabbed the box. How long would I have to wait for this?

"Results in one to… _FIVE MINUTES!_ Calm down JD, calm down. You'll pee on the stick and take a shower. It takes you way longer than five minutes to take a shower. And you should stop talking to yourself."

Somewhere between peeing on the stick and getting out of the shower I realized two things. One, I couldn't look at the test, and two, I had to tell Perry.

I sat up when I felt him slide onto the bed. "What'd it say?"

"Didn't look." I took a deep breath before I slid over and put my arms around him.

"JD…" I stopped as a shudder ran through me. "JD, if it's positive and you don't want this, we can talk to Mickhead."

"_If_ it's positive, I want this. But I need to tell you something before we see if you have Supersperm."

"Supersperm?" At least I got a laugh out of him.

"Yeah. There's always a chance for pregnancy even if you use the birth control correctly. And even if there was one time something happened, but then again it only takes one time…"

"JD! You're running on. What do you need to tell me?"

"Before we started at Sacred Hart… No, further back than that. I'm not explaining myself very well." I watched as he took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "Turk decided that we should go on vacation before we came to Sacred Hart. So that spring break we went to Florida with a group of friends."

"Did something bad happen?"

"No! No, I'm sorry. I don't mean to freak you out, it's just that Turk and Dan are the only ones who know. I didn't even tell my dad. Okay, before we left I had a one night stand."

"You got pregnant."

"Yes." How did I miss the fear in his eyes.

"What happened?"

"I went to visit Dan, and fell down the stairs. I was going to tell him, but I didn't know how to. Then we were going out to eat and I _tripped and he brought me back to his apartment and it started and wouldn't stop and I had to tell him and and and…"_

"JD! Come on baby! It's going to be okay! You're alright!"

"_I tripped over my own _fucking_ feet PERRY! I do that everyday! I can't, I can't go through that again!"_

* * *

He was torn and I didn't know how to help him. He was sad that it wouldn't be happening _now_, but glad that he wouldn't have to face the possibility of losing another child. I could see it, see JD with a child. _My_ child. I pulled him into the shower and held him for the second time that morning.

And I cried too.

\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/

"Ohhh! I can't wait for this overtime to end!" I moaned, flopping onto the same bunk as Perry. "Can we kill Kelso yet?"

"No Bambi. Not until after his good day." Carla's voice floated out of the darkness.

"Which is too damn far away." Turk muttered after.

I snuggled into Perry as he laughed. "Shockingly, I actually agree with baldy up there."

"Ditto. Can we go to sleep now?" Elliot's voice followed.

"Yes. Now everybody shut up!" Perry growled. He pulled me closer when it went quiet. I knew what he wanted to ask, but hoped he would wait. Wait until I could disappoint the both of us in private. When his hand slid over my abdomen I shook my head. The sigh was quiet, the _'Next time.'_ even more so. I wanted to ask why we thought the test would be positive this time. Then I remembered the weight and the blueberries, but those could both be easily explained away. Sex and scotch weren't the only things that relaxed Perry, cooking did too. And after years of fending for himself, he was damn good at it. Weight gain explained. And the blueberries, I had really wanted to believe my craving was a sign. But I think my want for them now is because they're out of season. I drifted off in Perry's arms thinking that a blueberry muffin would be perfect.

\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/

Negative. I tossed the test in the trash and washed my hands. I walked into the kitchen to find Perry putting dinner together. "What are we having?"

"My version of Stromboli. Just need to wash my hands and put these in the oven, then we can have the talk that you seem to want to have." I grabbed a glass of apple juice and a blueberry muffin, then sat down to watch him putter.

"What do you want to… Did you just have a muffin?"

"Yes, I'm hungry. I'm not Perry." I hated doing that. Making the light go out of his eyes every time I said no. "I want Mickhead to look at my file."

"JD. It's only been…"

"Three months. I know. And not saying we should go in and have all these test done, but I need peace of mind on this issue. If he says everything looks fine, we'll keep trying. If nothing happens in the next nine months we'll go get poked and prodded."

"Three."

"What?"

"It would be three months."

"For young and healthy couples you should wait a year. If nothing happens in that time, you go to the doctor.""You had the miscarriage JD." He yanked me into his lap and kissed me. "Even though it wasn't nature that did it, it still plays into your medical history. That, along with my age, puts us into the high risk category."

I snuggled in. "You're not old.""But I'm not young either. Face it JD, everybody's swimmers slow down with time." I laughed and kissed him until the timer went off.

"Let's eat!"

\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/

"Okay JD, everything in the file says you should be good. I do want to do a blood test today. Just to check your hormone levels, and I'll do a pregnancy test too. Who knows, something might have changed."

"In two weeks?"

"You'd be surprised at how many people come in here thinking something's wrong, only to find out nothing is. I'll get Dee in here to draw some blood and I'll call you later with the results."

"It would be better if you paged me." I explained at his confused look. "This is the middle of my first twelve, so I'll be in the hospital until tonight. No phone. I'll have my three hour break around seven or eight, you could reach me on my phone then. Or call Perry."

"I'll get in touch with _you_." I laughed as Mickhead called his nurse and left.

"How's it going JD?"

"Great! How are you?"

"Good good. You know the drill, but I'll repeat it anyway. We're not taking a lot of blood, but we want you to rest for at least ten minutes afterwards. Then you should head down and get something to eat. Would you like me to call Dr. Turk and have him meet you here?"

"No. I'll meet him there."

"Ready?"

I let out a sigh. "Yep."

* * *

"How did it go?" I slid into Perry's arms and sighed.

"Good. He said everything looked fine. Had some blood drawn."

"I thought Mickhead said everything was fine.""He did. He just want's to check my hormone levels. Oh, and do his own pregnancy test.""You want to eat now or _later_?" He leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"Now."

"What?"

"I'm sorry!" I laughed. "But I'm hungry. And the only time I sat down was in Mickhead's office, then to grab the fastest bite in history with Turk. My back hurts. So I have decided that we shall eat first and play later."

"Okay, but I think we should eat fast."

"I agree."

* * *

I knew I was grinning like an idiot, but I couldn't help it. After dinner we had skipped the bed and hit the shower. Seeing as how we hadn't done that since we got together I decided we definitely had to do that again. Maybe I could get Perry in the shower when I got home again. I pulled out my phone when it started to ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey JD, it's Dr. Mickhead."

* * *

I barely registered the door slamming as I ran through it. "PERRY!" He ran out of the bedroom at my shout. "Mickhead called!"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. He said that we're going to have a baby! He said…" I gulped in a breath before starting again. "He said it must be really early because my hormone levels are so low. Kiss me!"

"Kiss you?"

"Yes! I need you to kiss me now!" After that everything went fuzzy and warm. And I was an hour late getting back to work. At least nobody said anything.

* * *

Home again. "Can't wait for our time off." I murmured as I slid into bed.

"Same." He mumbled and pulled to him. I didn't even get a half hour.

* * *

_I don't remember a lot about what happened. I do remember getting up at the first small pain. At first I thought I was sick, but when the next one brought me to my knees I knew something was wrong. I called out for Perry, told him I knew what this pain probably was. After that everything went kind of gray. Next thing I knew, we were in a hospital room with Carla standing over me._

* * *

"I'm going to get Mickhead! Stay with him!" And with that Perry was gone.

I grabbed her hand. "Please make it stop."

"Bambi. I can't make it stop."

"Yes, yes you can. You can make it stop. You're CARLA! You can do anything!" A laugh slipped out, but it sounded kind of hysterical, so I stopped.

"Bambi? Bambi I can't make it stop. If I could I would, but I just can't. I'm sorry!"

"Get out. Get out, get out, get out, GET OUT!" I think it was the tissue box I threw at her. Perry arrived with Mickhead in tow, and Carla left. Mickhead did a cursory exam before he left to get an ultrasound.

* * *

"I laughed at Carla when she told me she couldn't do anything. Then I yelled. I should apologize, RIGHT!" I doubled over and screamed as the pain came again. "PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE! Make the pain stop. MAKEITSTOP, MAKEITSTOP, MAKEITSTOP!"

"He'll be back. He'll look and tell us if there's anything that can be done. JD? JD!" I grayed out again.

* * *

I couldn't have been out more than five minutes. I came around to Mickhead telling Perry that he was going to start with the ultrasound. I don't think any of us expected what he found. So I think my extreme panic was warranted.

* * *

"Look at me! Look at me and listen! You can't have anything, it's too far gone." He grabbed my face and I managed to find his eyes. "But I'm going to be here every step of the way. Right here with you! Are you ready?"

"No."

"Good. I'm not alone then." I managed to laugh before the pain came back.

* * *

"Baby! You said it was JD. Baby what's wrong?" I don't think I'd ever run so fast in my life. And if Elliot crashing into us was any indicator, neither had she.

"CARLA! Carla, tell us what's wrong."

"JD's pregnant." My baby sat down after that. She had a chair, Elliot got the table, I sat on the floor. Didn't even notice for the thirty minutes we were there. I did however notice the nurse coming at _us_.

* * *

"Would you three like to see the baby?"

"There's a baby?" Turk asked.

"Yes, a baby."

"A healthy baby?"

"Yes, a healthy baby."

"What about JD and Perry?"

"They're both fine. We should go before they take their baby for it's tests."

I started moving with the other, relieved that everybody was (apparently) okay. "Wait! What is it?"

"You'll see. Let's go." He smiled.

\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/

_There's one thing that everybody wants to know, 'How could you _not_ know you were pregnant?'. The only thing I can say is, it's really not that unusual. It can happen at any time, to anyone. Some have asked if we would change it if we could. NO! Never! I wouldn't trade this life for anything. Even though my _wonderful_ husband has knocked me up for a _THIRD_ time._

"_Tell them the truth JD. You want a big family just as much as I do."_

"_True. I just didn't think we'd be having two so close together. But that's another story."_

\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/\o/

Welcome to the World

Jackson Daniel Dorian-Cox

* * *

**A/N:** I flipped through the channels and landed on TLC. The show (sometimes my guilty pleasure) is I Didn't Know I was Pregnant. I thought about incorporating it into The Bloody Battle, but it started writing itself. The next chapter of The Bloody Battle will be up soon, but this took over so it came first. Yes, I changed Jack's name, because he is _JD's and Perry's _child. Again, NO Jordan! Yet. Reviews are love, ConCrit is welcomed, and any and all Flames will be used to build a bonfire to tell this story by.


	2. Sex Can Lead To Babies

**A/N:** I am working on The Bloody Battle. I don't have a DVD player and it takes about an hour to watch something that should take a half hour on my computer. It's always had a tendency to overheat when I play DVDs. So it takes a little longer to watch things. I'm going to start that process after I finish cleaning today. Also, Our Relationships and How Our Unexpected Family Started have taken over. I always planned on continuing the latter, and the former popped into my head when I caught that episode.

I would also like to thank everyone who read and didn't bother to tell me that Mickhead was the one accused of killing his wife. His name stuck in my head and I couldn't remember why, until I started reading. If I had known I probably would have changed Wen from Surgery to OB. At least I got a laugh from reading that. One other Note before the story starts: I'm keeping Laverne ALIVE, because in my readings I discovered that the only reason she was killed off was because they thought the show was really ending. It's also the reason she came back as Shirley. That's what I've read, so there you go.

Enjoy all! Don't own. All mistakes are mine. Hopefully it's not confusing.

* * *

"Hello Mr. Smith?" JD started off as he entered the room. "Interesting name."

"It really is Smith. First name's Dan."

"Cool, that's my brother's first name. I'm Dr. Dorian, but you can call me JD. You fainted."

"Yes." I watched him sigh and lean back in the bed.

"As boring as this may be for you, we do need this information. People don't faint for no reason. So the sooner this interrogation starts, the sooner it'll all be over. Have you been feeling dizzy?" It may have been harsh, but I just wasn't in the mood for pissy patients today.

"A little. And I'm sorry. I'm just tired."

"Okay. I'll add that. Nausea?"

"Sometimes."

"Vomiting?"

"A few times."

"You being tired, is it more than usual?"

"Yeah."

"Any cravings? Mood swings? Swelling in your feet or ankles? Sore muscles?"

"Cravings? No. Yes to mood swings. No swelling. And my back has been bothering me a lot lately."

"Tough questions now. Have you done any drugs?"

"NO!"

"Okay. Calm down please. We have to ask. Do you smoke?"

"Sorry. No."

"Do you drink excessively? I don't mean going out with friends and having a few. Or even going out once in a while and getting wasted."

"You're asking if I have a problem."

"Yes."

"No."

"Any stress?"

"Yes!"

"Why are you stressed?"

"Because we're getting married." I spun to look at the voice. "I'm Rick."

"Nice to meet you Rick and…"

"Ben. I drove so he wouldn't crash."

"Nice to meet you too." I turned back to Dan. "Could you be pregnant?"

"What?" Rick.

"No!" Dan.

"Cool!" Ben.

"Are you two having sex?"

"Well, yeah? But we use birth control!"

"Yeah. A little tip for… all of you. The only form of birth control that's one hundred percent effective, is abstinence. And as cheesy as most people think that sounds, it's the truth. With "The Pill" you need to take it every day at the same time or, you know, oops! Even taking it late lessens its effectiveness. The Shot, when they say you need to get it again, you need to get it again. And even then…"

"Oops? What about condoms? Aren't they one hundred percent effective?" I shook my head at Ben.

"Nope. A lot of people think they are, but they've never talked with a Doctor or even read the package. I believe the fail rate is five percent. And that's _if_ they're used correctly. A large chunk of people don't use them correctly and that ups the fail rate to around twelve percent. I haven't checked the numbers in a while, but I don't think they really change. Numbers can also go up or down depending on manufacturer. You also have to take into consideration, not only usage, but age and storage. Just to name a few. Well now that I have your heads spinning, I'm going to get a nurse in here to draw blood. We'll do the pregnancy test and check your blood sugar first.""It's gotta be stress."

"Hey Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"You should see my stress. He's four now. You guys need to discuss what you're going to do if the test comes back positive. Even if you think it's too soon or too fast, it probably isn't. The nurse will be in shortly."

\o/\o/\o/

"Hey Carla? I need some blood drawn Mr. Smith, first name Dan. Yes it's his real last name. I'm pretty sure he's pregnant." She leaned around me to look in the room.

"What's wrong with them?"

"They didn't think it was possible."

"Birth control speech?"

"Yeah. I didn't get into how a vasectomy or tubal ligation can actually repair themselves. So if you could…?"

She laughed a little. "I'll bring it up. I don't understand why people can't accept that sex can lead to babies." I laughed with her.

"We also need to test his blood sugar."

"Fainted?"

"Yeah." I leaned on the counter and sighed.

"I take his pressure again, just to make sure. If you're right we don't need any surprises."

"Thank you Carla. I'm going to let Mickhead know he's on standby now."

"Why do you think he is?"

"Dizziness, fainting, nausea, vomiting, mood swings, unusually tired, back aches. I'm sure there's bound to be more."

"Later Bambi." She couldn't seem to keep a straight face as she walked to Dan's room.

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**A/N:** Hopefully that wasn't too confusing. Reviews are love, ConCrit is welcomed, and any and all Flames will be used to build a bonfire to tell this story by.


	3. Stupid Ben!

**A/N:** I'm sorry this took so long! I got a full-time job taking care of a friends kids. They got sick, so I got sick, then my Grandma got sick. She had a hernia and throwing up as violently as she did caused complications with it. She went in for emergency surgery on Tuesday. The doctor said it was close to bursting. She's doing fine now, but that's really not a phone call anyone wants to get during their work day. Especially if you can't get a hold of your boss right away. Most of this has been done for a while, but with things the way they've been I haven't felt like posting.

Something I did forget to mention, where I said the Vasectomy and Tubal Ligation could fix themselves… They can. It doesn't happen all the time, but just like any "cuts" they can fuse back together. I'm almost positive about the 12% fail rate for condoms if not used properly, the 5% if used properly is kind of fuzzy. But I'm still pretty sure about that. Although don't quote me. I just didn't want to be looking up condom fail rates… That would be really awkward to explain. My info did come from a medical show though. And not a fake one, a real one. And fail rates do go up or down depending on several different things. The Pill and The Shot, when you're supposed to take or get either one, you're supposed to take or get either one.

Okay! Enough of the Birth Control stuff. I believe I've dug to the depths of my knowledge on that subject. If anyone thinks anything should be corrected, drop me a line and I'll fix it.

_**TracesOfTrueLove:**_ Thank you for the review! I would have put this in Chapter 2, but I didn't know that this story had any reviews. If you're still reading, Thanks! Hope you love the rest.

_**Animatrixette16:**_ Glad you like it! This was originally going to stay a oneshot while I finished my other stories, but it hasn't left me alone since I posted. I went over and over and over the first chapter before I realized that I was just making worse instead of better. Some parts may be confusing, but I had to stop going over it for my own sanity. Again, glad you liked it!

Thanks to all my readers/alerters/favoriters.

Enjoy all! Don't own. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

It was five hours before I was able to get back to Dan Smith. _'I love his name! It makes him sound like a spy. I should page Turk! I also need to call Dan. I'll do that when I get off shift.'_ Mickhead had already had him moved to his floor. It was nice to be right about something good.

\o/\o/\o/

"It's not that unusual, for anyone really, to not know that they're pregnant. Symptoms vary from person to person. Some people can be sick as dogs, other can be healthy as horses. Um, I'm going to stop the animal references now."

"Why isn't he bigger?" I asked.

"There are variables for that too. Your weight, body type, where and how you're carrying the baby, size of the fetus. It all depends on many, many things."

"But if your calculations are right…"

"They are."

"I'm not doubting you. How did I miss it for five months?"

"You're carrying the fet…"

"Baby please."

"Baby, closer to your back. That's not unusual. They can be carried far out, far back, down low, up high, under your lungs, on your bladder, the possibilities are pretty endless. You can have one thing and combinations. It just depends."

"I'm gonna be an Uncle!" My stupid brother just had to shout in my ear.

"We're cousins stupid." I sigh.

"Shut up Jordan. I'm gonna be an Uncle!" I watched him jump around. Idiot!

I sighed again. "Have you had this happen before?"

I watched Mickhead turn to face me. "Yes. With both men and women. In fact Dan, your doctor…" He turned back to Dan to continue.

"JD?"

"Yes, JD. The two of them had around twelve, thirteen hours to get used to the idea of having a baby. That is actually the latest we've ever caught a pregnancy. It's one of the reasons we insist on doing an ultrasound right after we find out. No matter what." Dan laughed.

"His stress!" Mickhead laughed with him.

"He still stresses JD and Cox out."

"Who?" Stupid Ben!

"Sorry. Dr. Cox, JD's husband."

"How long have they been together?" SHUT UP BEN! He should have left it alone! I didn't need to know if Perry had moved on!

"Almost five years. Of course they acted like they were in a relationship before they were actually _in _a relationship. Their son Jack is four, and their daughter is five months. He's also expecting again. I feel bad for both of them. They're not going to sleep for years. Once Jenny starts sleeping during the night they'll have a new baby to keep them up. He should be by in a bit to check on you. And get his paperwork. If you have any other questions feel free to ask me or the nurses. I'll be back later to check on you."

"Bye Doc!" Stupid Ben!

\o/\o/\o/

"Hey Mickhead! How's our patient?" I leaned against the counter beside him and sighed.

"Five months along! Doing good. How are you JD?"

"Back aches, but other than that I'm doing good."

"Cox and the kids?" I watched him sign a chart and turn to face me.

"Perry's good, Jack has the sniffles, and Jenny is sleeping during the day."

"Gothca." He laughed and shuffled through his charts. "Here's Dan's chart. I'm not going to be around for awhile because Mr. Howard is seven centimeters and Mrs. Hobeth is edging him out at nine. She's stalled, but he's going strong. So I need to go see what's going on. See you later JD."

"Bye Mickhead!"

\o/\o/\o/

I carefully scope out the people in the room before heading in. Dan, Rick, and Ben are the same, but there are five new people. Two older men, two older women, and a woman who looked like she had been sucking lemons. I could tell that this was going to be painful. _'Deep breath JD. You can do this!'_

"Afternoon Dan, Rick, Ben. I just saw Mickhead, he said everything looks good. How are you feeling Dan?"

"You have another one on the way?" I watched him blush. "I mean, fine. I'm doing fine. How are you?"

"I'm doing good. And yes, I have another one on the way."

"That wasn't a plan, was it?" I couldn't help it, I laughed at Rick. He looked so scared at the thought of two so close together.

"No, it wasn't. It just worked out that way. Actually, we didn't plan any of our kids. Well, I mean we were talking about having kids before Jack came along, but we didn't think it would happen that fast."

"Sounds scary." Ben piped up.

"Actually, what was really scary was the fact that I trusted Perry to shop for baby clothes. I love the man, I really do! But our son looked like a hockey player for the first three months!" I watched Dan laugh and swat at Rick. "I get that it's his favorite team, but Jack's closet was almost completely red and white! There was a little black thrown in for variety though."

I watched Rick's face become serious. "You two can't go shopping without me!" He pointed at Dan and Ben. "No I don't trust you guys Ben."

"Hey everybody! JD how are you?" Dee flew into the room with a stack of papers and a tray. "These are for you! And this…" He placed the tray he was carrying down. "Is for you! If everything checks out you should be able to leave tonight!"

"Yeah, Dee's perpetually happy. It takes a lot to piss him off." I smiled at Ben. "I'm going to say goodbye now, because I probably won't see you before you leave. Also, good luck!"

"JD? Could you get those to me by seven?" Dee didn't look up from his task.

"Sure. Eight?"

"Nine. I want to be out of here by nine thirty. Hot date." I saw him wiggle his eyebrows at Dan.

"Good luck to you too then." I headed out.

"Thanks JD!" I turned and waved.

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**A/N:** I hope this all made some sort of sense. My mind hasn't really been here because of things. Other stories forthcoming. Reviews are love, ConCrit is welcomed, and any and all Flames will be used to build a bonfire to tell this story by.


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